Dating in Different Cultures

Dating might seem a standard practice, but this way of looking for love is relatively recent. In the UK, for example, dating without a chaperone only became common during the previous century. Today the Anglo-American ‘dinner and a movie’ is unremarkable and couples are generally free to choose where they go. In other countries dating works very differently; in some cultures it is even prohibited altogether.

In most European and American cultures chivalry can be met with mixed reactions. In heterosexual relationships the man may, for example, buy gifts for the woman, pay for the date and hold open doors for her. To some women this shows respect and good manners, but others move away from tradition and might feel patronised by chivalry. There is a general trend towards gender equality in western cultures, but some dating traditions remain.

In Australia it is not uncommon for women to ask men on dates, make reservations, and foot the bill. ‘Going Dutch’ is another alternative, splitting the cost so that each person contributes their share.

In an arranged marriage the couple is usually paired by their families, who match them according to religion, caste, wealth, or family connections. Some arranged marriages do not allow the bride and groom to meet before the wedding day, whilst in other cases meetings are formal and heavily supervised.

In traditional Indian culture the parents play a big role. The marriage is seen not only as uniting two people, but two entire families. In Japan, the custom of Miai involves an arranged meeting between two people who might consider marriage. Iran has very strict laws in place which forbid relations between unmarried couples. Instead, couples can choose a sigheh (a temporary marriage) to be together without breaking Islamic law, though this is often still frowned upon by society.

European couples in their teenage years often date within larger social groups. Western cultures are now generally liberal in their attitudes to dating and each couple can choose to spend time together in an activity that matches shared interests. In traditional Japanese culture, public displays of affection are frowned upon and in some areas couples do not kiss in public. South Africa bans anyone under 16 showing public displays of affection.

The internet has drastically changed the way people look for love. Online matchmakers and dating sites are now popular in the western world and help singles find like-minded people with shared interests. There are also services that match couples according to cultural background, Asian dating sites for example, and sites that specialise in religious beliefs. Other dating services have grown in recent years, including speed dating, which mirror the fast-paced modern way of life.